How To Become “Unhookable”
I love this word – “unhookable”. Maybe it is because I spend so much of my professional and person life helping people and occasionally myself : ) get unhooked.
When we are unhookable – we are able to communicate in a way that people can hear us. We can even say the most difficult things or have differing viewpoints and people can hear us. We can get to the heart of the matter.
How does the “unhookable” leader succeed? There are two parts:
The first is the ability to use the right words, they are assertive versus passive or aggressive and they use enrolling language. The language makes it safe to respond and encourages seeking a solution or taking action when appropriate.
The second part is more complex. “Unhookable” or Q Leaders keep emotions and judgement out of the equation and then can access their intuition and insight in their response. The right words come to them. They are cool, calm and collected. We call it “dynamic free”. They are able to give an insightful perspective that changes the situation no matter what is going on around them.
When we are “hooked” these options are not available to us even if we know other ways to say things. We are so busy overreacting, defending or trying to suppress our emotion that our ability to ask the right question or respond in a masterful way is unavailable to us.
We can get hooked by things like:
- A provocative email
- A poor decision
- The appearance of hopelessness or helplessness
- Criticism
- Other peoples decisions
- Not being heard
- The list is endless
In the past most communication programs focused on the “right” words and formulas. While this is very important the skill is not very helpful if we can’t remember them in the moment or if we do not have the confidence to say what needs to be said. Eliminating the fears and inhibitors to masterful communication will make us unhookable and allow to access and share insight in ways that people can hear us.
By now there may be some of you that would like to learn, be reminded of or upgrade your skills. Maybe you would like to be able to have clean communication that takes the situation to a better place. It sure beats dead ends, defensiveness and hard feelings.
We can help you unhook. Ask for a free session here.
I look forward to hearing your stories of how you have become unhookable and the amazing results that this brings.
